why.

why do you suppose we feel compelled to chase the ones who run away? immaturity?
marquise de merteuil said it. her tone so exquisite, her struggling limbs hanging from branches, dropping letters into perfect piles of intricate leaves. why is it so--why is it that we shun those who care about us the most? is it a 'daddy left me' syndrome? are we doomed for endless years of failed love?

what the fuck is love anyway.but a bunch of scrambled leaves.

fuck your perfect pile.my i's cross my t's and my z's snooze your y's.
why why why why.not.

it is beyond my control. pick up my x's where you left them.

.naked.

i trace the crevices between each finger, watching the sand dissipate in my forearm, counting the lovers through each crack--





the fuck-up circling my middle finger. hello wanker, how the fuck do you do.rising to the one who never truly wanted 'me,' who now rests between my four finger, giving ambiguous high fives to my new project sitting.
thumbs up. a home-base even i can't outrun.
    no, i didn't forget you pinkie man, watching him throwing his arms out
hellahellahella yalla hear i am.my eardrums sinking in deep
shovels.
    stop swimming in my tears.i said.
    stop drowning my ring man.
i'm gonna find another you.
    naked. with all your clothes on.

.the truth is.

lucifer at the starlite.

i want to change my address to last night's wet dream.
addonizio said it, she said it so possessively, an arrow wounded in her amygdala,
spreading her lungs flat on a chair, unhooking her ribs.
a part-time lover knocking at her door, his bubble toes seeping through the crack.
i can smell him on my neck. i can smell him under my supercillium, under my jowl draining the vein that runs me away.

mona lisa told me it was him.
the sphinx hankered after him.
the manchego desired him.

my pretty wings are cut, my boots straddling my thighs so high you can taste the cham(pain).
            so tell me. tell me when you hear my heartbeat. when i leak honey into your parietal lobe.
sign it on a scrap of paper. crumple it or tear it or throw it away.

there's a possibility.