WHAT'S YOUR PIN?

ah, the wonders of the blackberry messenger.aka, 'bbm.' i remember the days when the curve was the newest, hippest thing around, when "blackberrys" were too complicating, too unnecessary, too adult.hell, that curve flip phone was the best thing that ever happened to me.text messaging was cool.the curve was cool. i was COOL. fast forward to 2009, and like the infamous baby boom generation in the late 1940's, the blackberry has done just that: boomed. fergie sang it, and god knows we've all shaken our asses once or twice to that bootylicious chonga.

think about it:lets set up a scenario. it's 9:45, you're out to dinner with a few girlfriends and BAM you meet this amazing, very good-looking gentleman.hell, whatever happened to exchanging emails, via text, via mouth, via napkin, via FCKUin sign language? these days if a blackberry is in your hand, the question comes out without warning, without preparation, yet with undeniable confidence, "what's your pin?" right then and there your eyes roll back so far that this newfound creature now stares, as you stand there colorless. I mean FCKU. this stupid creature who you'll probably never speak to because just because he's good-looking doesn't mean he's great in bed, doesn't have 4 kids, isn't married, isn't gay, isn't for you. AND NOW you have to stare at his stupid BBM status everyday to remind you of how annoyed you were the day he added you. now you have to stare at your phone every three and a half seconds in order to check whether or not THE DAMN BB MESSAGE YOU SENT HIM WAS INDEED DELIVERED ANDDDDDDD READ. 

because GOD forbid he's on the phone, or busy, or working, or feeding his kids that he swore to you his separated wife didn't give birth to, or HELL breathing. then you find yourself setting this stupid man on ALERT, so during lunch with one of your other psychotic friends, you don't have to get caught checking this stupid blue circular symbol that stands now front row on your screen. with an ALERT your stalking is complete. AH, she sighs, he's NOW read my message. 

FCKU blackberrys. FCKU you. i'm going metro- metro piece of shit that is, and to hell with you and your blackberry. to hell with you and your constant PINGS because i indeed have a life and CANNNNNOT, i repeat, CANNOT get to the phone fast enough,because you're number 9 of 99 BBM "buddies" that I have to get back to today. to hell with BBM. stand in line or take a number.